July 2, 2008

links for 2008-07-02

Posted in recommended reading at 9:31 am by LB

3 Comments »

  1. Amber said,

    Hey, thanks for linking to that old post of mine! I had actually forgotten about it myself, actually… then I read it and and thought, “Hey, whaddaya know, sometimes I say smart stuff!” ;)

  2. Thanks for treating my experience (Can A Man Be Raped By A Woman) with respect and dignity.

    A little kindness means more than you can know given how badly the PJM crowd has been treating me.

    Thank you.

  3. lindabeth said,

    James, you are very welcome. All rape victims, regardless of their gender or their assailant’s gender deserve to have their experience treated with dignity. It’s a shame that your experience, like that of many (most?) female victims of rape, was subject to some of the same “victim-blaming” and disbelief comments, by both male and female commenters. Specifically this bit from your blog post:

    That’s the new rule in rape – unless you leave your victim bloodied and beaten, you haven’t committed rape. That eliminates hundreds of thousands of cases of women who’ve been raped, but weren’t physically thrashed in the process.

    As feminists blog about consistently, this same argument appears about female victims as well. As in, if she was drunk, and therefore no “fight” it’s not rape, if he was drunk, it’s not rape. If she didn’t put up a Hollywood movie-worthy physical fight back, it wasn’t really rape. Very very unfortunately, but some of the responses you’ve received are all too familiar variations on rape apologies in general. And even though obviously not all women are feminists, and I can’t hold all women up to feminist values, it breaks my heart to hear this crap from a woman, although in all honesty, I’ve read several female blog commenters who tow the apologist line like anyone.

    Feminist activism was worked for 30 plus years now to combat rape myths, and over that time fem. theories about rape have developed and become more nuanced, but the way people respond to rape stories in general, and your in particular, show how much further we need to go and how much we need men to participate in the anti-rape movement: both speaking out against men raping but also and equally importantly, speaking out about their own experiences of rape.

    I firmly believe we need a cultural challenge to rigid patriarchal masculinity arising from men, like women espousing feminism have challenged hierarchical understandings of gender, particularly from the women’s POV but not limited to this view. Until we do, the very sad and damaging assumptions that degraded your experience will persist. I wish you all the best in your recovery: I prefer to think of rape victims as “rape survivors.”


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